I’m full of fear, fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, and the list goes on. I hate it and no matter how hard I try I can’t change it. I have a care free attitude when it comes to people’s opinions of me but at the same time I care a hell of a lot.
I look back at things I did a few years ago such as riding a pony through the choppy sea in the pouring rain with not a care in the world, or when I used to take my dogs out on my own in huge open fields and not worry at all. I feel like I used to be fearless and now I’m fearful. Maybe as I’ve grown up and had to experience or hear of others’ experiences my fears have grown. When things happen to people close to home it proves how real these things are.
I know that fear is a natural reaction to things that can put you in danger, I just feel like I’m allowing mine to consume my teenage years by constantly asking ‘what if’ and more times than not, deciding against doing something because ‘what if’.
I want to travel, I want to do crazy and spontaneous things but at the moment I don’t feel ready. A lot of people say that your teenage years are the best years of your life. You have very few responsibilities and there’s really not a whole lot that you have to worry about.
I’m 18 years old, and at the moment I’m struggling to just push my fears aside and enjoy myself and just live in the moment. I over think everything and rather than doing it and worrying about any possible consequences later, I think about what could possibly go wrong, before hand, and then most of the time talk myself out of anything I may have wanted to do.
Since joining college I’ve met Lauri who does some really cool things, she’s positive 100% of the time and is just generally a very nice human being. She’s now become my ‘life coach’. I’ve asked her to help me conquer my fears. Help me live in the moment. Help me by being by my side as I attempt to do things I’ve always been too scared to do. Things varying from small to large. We’re planning a few things and I’m excited to start making some crazy memories with her.
I love that she reassures me that everything’s ok and let’s me know that I’m safe if I ever feel fearful, along with making me laugh hysterically all of the time. I’m ready to start living my life and doing things I’ve always dreamt of but been too scared to do.
I’m excited that I’ll be recording every ‘achievement’ on my blog so look out for them within the coming months. Let’s do this!