Making Changes

August 16, 2018

I’ve noticed a change in me recently, and it’s not one that I’m happy with. I sat with my Mum and sister a couple of nights ago (after my car broke for the second time AND ruined my plans for a birthday weekend in Norfolk:(). I opened up about everything that’s been on my mind and just how I’ve been feeling as of late. It’s sparked my want and need to make some changes to turn me back into my usual happy, chirpy self.

1. Stop putting so much pressure on myself
A huge goal of mine is to have my own creative business full-time. I;m nowhere near there yet, but I’m always trying to do a little bit each week to get there. But it’s grating on me because I feel tired all the time, and my ideas don’t work out how I want them to a lot of the time either.
I have to remember that I don’t need to put so much pressure on it. I do believe that it will happen at the right time for me. I’m currently in a position where I’m earning enough money to pay my bills (and buy nice things once in a while), so I don’t NEED this extra money, even though it would be nice.

2. Create because I love it
My blog has suffered due to my lack of energy and desire to do just about anything. So I;m hoping to direct my creativity back into this. I’ve been writing on a blog for 6 years, which shows to me that it’s something I love doing. Instead of putting so much pressure and energy on my shop, I need to take a step back from that and just spend some time writing and taking photos for my blog instead. The love of designing things for my shop will come back when it’s the right time for me.

3. Eat less and move more.
Since getting into my current mindset, I’ve been eating EVERYTHING. I never feel full, so I just eat and eat and eat. Working at the biscuit bakery means that there are sweet treats pretty much on tap. So it’s been even worse at work compare to at home. I’m noticing weight gain, mainly by the way some of my clothes are fitting me. I’m really not happy about it, so i’m hoping to join a gym when I’m feeling a bit better in myself. It’ll be good for the endorphins, but also for how I feel about my body.

4. Do more at the weekends
I’ve turned down a couple of fun get togethers with friends over the last few weeks, just through feeling like I don’t have enough energy to be around loads of people. I’ve always found that kind of environment quite exhausting.
But it’s meaning I’m sitting in the house every evening and weekend, this in turn means I’m not going out, which means I’m not wearing outfits that I love and also not shooting anything to put up on mere too. I need to start planning weekend activities so that I’m not only leaving the house for work (and food shopping).

So yeah, there’s a huge brain vomit for you… There’s a lot on my mind, it’s meaning I’m sleeping for 8+ hours and night, sometimes sleeping through my alarms and being late for work which isn’t the best.

To summarise;
I’m stepping back from my little shop for now. Apart from potentially ordering and playing with a new little gadget. I just need to ride the wave, create when I feel inspired and hopefully I can pick it up again nearer Christmas time.

Do more fun things outside of work. I get twi WHOLE days off but end up doing nothing with it. So I’m planning to put on a nice outfit, go somewhere photo worthy, get fresh air and snap some photos for my blog.

Moving more and eating less in pretty self explanatory. I need to find a gym or start running (something I have wanted to do for years).

It’s hard to figure out which of these things are the signs and which are the symptoms of how I’m feeling. They might all be factors of my current state of mind. I think each are contributing to my current mood, and although none of them are huge problems in the grand scheme of things, the fact it’s all come at once makes it feel like I’ve hit a brick wall.

I’m glad to get all of this off my chest, it’ll be a constant reminder of how I plan to get through this little bump in the road. Back to regular proceedings soon 🙂

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